If "clothes make the man" then the act of putting on an Aloha or Hawaiian shirt will immediately transform a tightly wound special education teacher (especially so at this time of year when the kids finally realize they have to do work in order to graduate) into a rum swilling knucklehead looking for a lei. For some reason tensions ease with donning a shirt that features colors not found in nature, as if one has settled their toes in the sand of Waikiki and is handed a Mai Tai.
Yes, feel the cool tropical breezes, see swaying palms and Diamond Head in the distance, all by putting on an Aloha shirt that makes onlookers wince. Wear an Hawaiian shirt and your hips start to swivel in a hula and you give a Shaka "Hang Loose" sign to everyone you meet, because you know you are Vacationing From Home! Just be careful when you cross the street....
Well your more favored member of the Vacation From Home team, Janet, doesn't wear Hawaiian shirts except on days like today. It is the annual Bruce Wray Memorial Hawaiian Shirt Invitational Competition. In honor of Mr. Wray's prediliction for Hawaiian shirts, Janet's school mimics his skewed sense of fashion by also wearing the same. It is a competition. The more wretched the better. If it looks like you tore down your curtains to make the shirt you are liable to win. The first prize is a Pineapple. A real one. Second prize is a Coconut and 3rd place gets a Lei. Yes, the "worst" shirt will win the prize.
Sadly, Mr. Wray passed away recently, but this competition continues in his honor.
Janet is determined to win this event. She has borrowed one of my most hideous shirts, one that I even refuse to wear. It is salmon colored with bowling pins and balls. I purchased it, like most of the shirts I find off-island, at a Salvation Army store for a few pennies. I think I'll let her keep it.
