TRAVEL UH-Ohs OVER THE
YEARS
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| UH-OH |
Not every plan comes to
fruition. Not every destination is epiphanous. Very rarely traveling is smooth
and without flaw, unforeseen mishaps and detours are more commonplace than we
would have you believe here at VFH Central. Since we joined forces in 2006
Janet and I have traveled quite a bit, and dodged a couple of “bullets”, but we
tend to only write about the good bits. So, as a little exercise between us we
decided to chronicle some uh-ohs from all our years of getting out there.
NOTHING VENTURED…
One can spend their
entire life traveling to the same favored destination and never consider anywhere
else and live comfortably knowing they are safe and happy. Venturing forth to
see different parts of the world comes with a whole different set of rules than
the yearly trip to say, Lavallette, NJ. Some people just don’t want to go
through the hassle and are happy being here and not “there”.
Before you cringe from
our tales of ineptitude, naivety or bad luck, we here at VFH Central say it’s
better to have uh-ohed and lived than to never have experienced at all.
UH-OHs?
Uh-ohs are real and
they happen all the time. A knuckleball if you will. In life they happen all
the time, and being on the road is not an excuse to cower under the covers. Sometimes
uh-ohs occur from poor planning, or a confluence of circumstances and poor
luck. Sometimes we cause the uh-ohs, sometimes despite fastidious preparation
they happen beyond our control.
The important point is
to first plan for the unexpected, and if uh-ohs still occur, just roll with it
rather than having it become Armageddon.
No worries, we’ve never
really experienced real danger, just a couple of uh-ohs.
So, here’s a few tales
of travel uh-ohs from over the years.
HOTEL UH-OHs
As mentioned before
traveling is not simply stepping off the plane (or boat) and winging it. To
truly enjoy your travels, do research, read reviews, if needed scour google
maps for further details. My first trip abroad was to hitchhike my way around
France. There were a lot of uh-ohs on that trip, as I didn’t plan very well. I
don’t really speak French also, but I wouldn’t trade those three weeks for anything!
Fond memories even with all the uh-ohs
Seriously though, a lack of preparation
can negatively impact your travel experience in either of two ways. It can cause you to miss out on deals,
particular sights of interest or even in reaching your destination. (Think government
required documents, and train, bus or boat schedules). A lack of preparation
can also get you a scary room near the train station in Brussels.
Brussels On Edge
Flying from Edenborough,
Scotland to South Charleroi Airport near Brussels, we opted to get a hotel near
the train station as we were leaving early the next morning for Bruges. Not
checking the area, or the reviews and going only for convenience we stayed at
some hotel that seemed like it rented by the minute. A bunch of seedy looking
men stood near the door and the front desk was shielded from everyone by a
plexiglass cage. This was nearly a decade before COVID.
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| CAFE VLISSINGHE |
We paid for our room, chortled up the clanky elevator and
proceeded to get a restless night’s sleep lying on top of the covers fully
clothed, afraid of catching some skin affliction or lesion if something touched
our bare skin. When I thought that it would be interesting to take a walk in
the neighborhood Janet stopped the conversation with a well-aimed love tap that just knocked the wind out of me for a few minutes.
To this day Janet rates
this as the number one “uh-oh” in our travels.
The rest of our trip to Belgium was wonderful, although, pub crawls in this land of strong beer are short-lived. This is a bit of a frivolous nitpicking uh-oh, but after drinking at the Cafe Herberg Vlissinghe, a beautiful pub that first opened in 1515; that’s not military time; the strap on Janet’s flip-flop broke and she had to walk back to our bed and breakfast while just wearing one sandal and smoking a cigarette.
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| CAFE VLISSINGHE |
The rest of our trip to Belgium was wonderful, although, pub crawls in this land of strong beer are short-lived. This is a bit of a frivolous nitpicking uh-oh, but after drinking at the Cafe Herberg Vlissinghe, a beautiful pub that first opened in 1515; that’s not military time; the strap on Janet’s flip-flop broke and she had to walk back to our bed and breakfast while just wearing one sandal and smoking a cigarette.
Austin City Limits
We have enjoyed AirBnB
all over the U.S. and in Europe, but one place in Austin Texas had us
reconsidering the whole approach to traveling in this way. The room we had for
a few days was through a warren of corridors and then through a courtyard. To
reach our bathroom we had to go outside into the courtyard to reach the
facilities! Flushed toilets from other rooms were loudly heard through the thin
walls. Though in a great location very near the bars of 6th (or
Pecan Street), it was not a good place at all. Not sure if the reviews revealed
this particularly yucky uh-oh.
Not So Grand?
Where the first two
uh-ohs listed here are definitely due to a lack of proper research this last accommodation
uh-oh happened because at the time in 2008 there weren’t many other options on
Grand Isle, Louisiana.
I had somehow convinced
Janet to go on a three-week road trip through southwest Louisiana. After eating our way through New Orleans and before we explored Bayou Lafourche and the
towns of Huma, Iowa, Lake Charles, Thibodaux and Lafayette, I insisted we visit
the barrier island in the middle of Barataria Bay, from where the pirate Jean
Lafitte led many raids in the early 1800s.
This was in 2008 just a
couple of years after the twin devastating hurricanes of Katrina and Rita in
the summer of 2005 and many of the citizens and restaurateurs were very
thankful for our patronage.
At best, Ricky’s Motel
and RV Park was convenient as it was right on the Gulf of Mexico and there was
a lot of fishing and crabbing. But it was dingy and dirty and cheap and we were
lucky we had a reservation, because every room was sold out. Soon after we
checked in a family had hoped to just show up without a reservation and were
turned away. They ended up camping out beneath our room in their cars. In
deference to the frequent flooding everything is on stilts on Grand Isle. Every
time we emerged from our aerie, they eyed us angrily.
Every morning when we awoke,
I exclaimed sarcastically “another day in paradise”, but we had a great stay (as
long as we didn’t make eye contact with that family). At the time the Tarpon Rodeo
was going on and we were able to blend with all the fisherman and families for
free drinks and the best jambalaya we had anywhere in Louisiana. So, despite
the uh-oh it was a great time.
Sadly, Ricky’s Motel is
now permanently closed due to the devastation of last year’s Hurricane Ida. We
watched the news reports about Grand Isle sad to realize what we had enjoyed
was mostly underwater.
I wore my Ricky’s Motel
t-shirt proudly until it fell off my body in tatters.
Drone footage of the Grand
Isle devastation:
READING THE ROOM
Just because you’re on
the road doesn’t mean you’re immune to crime and impervious to danger. It took
us awhile to figure out that just because you sunk some money into a trip, people
won’t see you as an easy mark. Here’s a couple of uh-ohs from that skewed vision
that being on vacation means everyone is happy to see you and wants to keep you
safe.
Cavalier in Castries
One of our earliest
trips was with the now defunct Windjammer Cruises and we sailed roundtrip from
St. Lucia to Grenada. We got to St. Lucia a few days before departure and
decided to explore Castries, the capitol and where our ship was docked. As we
ambled about the streets not knowing where we were and seeing some edgy individuals
near the proud Yankee Clipper that would soon be our home someone stopped us on
the street. In a grave voice she told us not to keep heading in our current
direction, that there is trouble up in that neighborhood. We wheeled about on
our heels and soon headed back to our hotel.
Turns out that crime in
St. Lucia is a real issue then and now, with armed robbery, sexual assaults and
murder making the news. Even the UK issues warnings about St. Lucia.
Split Dzeparos
Always be vigilant and
aware of your surroundings, no matter how festive the moment. Though we didn’t
get robbed in Split we did get violently bumped while in a crowd within Diocletian's Palace, the main tourist draw for the Croatian city. We had paused to listen to a performance of Aida being held at the Peristyle, which was once the main entrance to the Emperor's living quarters when I got pushed very aggressively. Coming from NYC area that's not good and it had all the trademark actions of a pickpocket. I protested the woman protested and she melted into the crowd. Though the crime is rare in Croatia, pickpocketing is prevalent everywhere and
one must take steps to protect your valuables. Nothing lost, but I had taken precautions
before wading into the crowd.
Dzeparos is Croatian
for pickpocket.
Who Let the Dogs Out?
Thinking it was a good
idea we decided to attempt to walk into Bosnia. Our rental car agreement
forbade us for taking the car we had rented to drive to Plitvice Lakes in
Croatia to go across the border. So, thinking it was a good idea, we decided to
park the car near the border crossing and walk across, just to say we were in
Bosnia. I had been there to Sarajevo in 1984 for the Olympics, and again in
1987. We thought it might be “fun”. Ignoring the burnt-out vehicles nearby and
the general desolate look of the place, as well as the bullet hole scarred
buildings leading to the crossing, still not fully repaired from the turmoil of
the breakup of Yugoslavia in the 1990s, we got out of our car and timidly walked
through the glass strewn parking lot towards the customs building.
Men in the kiosks
stamping passports angrily waved us away and then the pack of feral dogs approached
us. Seeing nothing “fun” in this we hightailed it back to our rental car and left
the menacing scene behind.
The only way we could
have prevented this uh-oh was to have our heads screwed on tighter.
Ne Ne In Mljet
Shore excursions should be fun. Feeling hale and hearty on the Croatian Island of Mljet (like "nyet") we rented bicycles and tootled around the lakes and the National Park on this beautiful island. Popular with tourists and locals alike the park was crowded in places, especially near where our ship the M/V Infinity was moored.
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| Resting in Mljet |
Near the end of our ride I was moving too quickly given the amount of people milling about and had to take a dive to avoid hitting a little girl who stepped into my path. It was either me or her and my elbows and my dignity took the brunt of the impact. It could have been a lot worse, but I swear Grappa was not involved in this accident.
UH-OH KNUCKLEBALLS
No matter how much you prepare
for travel, know that plans can change. You can get sick or hurt while on the
road or get into a car accident. Always make sure you have travel insurance for
your safety. It will save you money in the long run. Here’s a couple of
examples of utilizing that insurance.
A Myriad of Shit
A few years ago, we lost a family member and
had to delay a trip. The airline was going to charge us a lot to change the
ticket, but insurance took care of it.
I had a dental emergency in England a few
years back. It was taken care of by a local dentist and paid for by my
insurance carrier.
I had Poison Ivy to such an extreme it looked
like chemical burns while in South Carolina and insurance covered the cost of
the steroids needed to clear it up.
While in Hilo Hawaii I backed into a palm tree
that admittedly was growing at an odd angle, but my car insurance purchased
with the rental company covered it without question. We dropped the damaged car
off at the airport and the rental car company said, “Mahalo.”
A recent trip to beautiful Sedona Arizona had
us sequestered in our rooms for a few days because of a stomach ailment. We
spent Thanksgiving sipping chicken broth and saltines. The Grand Canyon was not
that spectacular for us.
No insurance needed,
but we had to make a trip to the local store for more toilet paper!
While getting PADI certified in Antiqua for
scuba diving I discovered that eating bacon the morning of a dive is not a good
thing. This greasy meal, combined with diesel fumes and a churning boat made
for chum through my regulator.
None of our trips were ruined. Everything
worked out money-wise and health-wise so chalk them up to good planning.
ABIDE
We leave you one last tale
of uh-oh from the road, and the philosophy behind it should extend to every
facet of your life. The world doesn’t revolve around you and we are all in this
together.
In February 2019 we
were on an early morning flight to Miami. We were going to the Florida Keys,
stopping in Big Pine Key and Key Largo on our travels to Key West.
We were anxious to get
out of snowy Philadelphia as I suspect as everyone else on that plane. Air
travel is convenient, you get to travel great distances, but it’s not like
sitting in your Barcalounger. Safety is the main concern for all the protocols
in place and flight attendants aren’t there to make your life miserable, but
safer.
When a gentleman refused
to put his seat back in the proper position for take-off after several requests
(it doesn’t matter what his reason was), the flight was delayed and eventually law
enforcement was called in, the plane had to be vacated and then he was escorted
off in handcuffs. As the impatience of the passengers grew by the minute as we
waited in the gate area, some calculating missed connecting flights, we finally
got our revenge when he was led off the plane and we all jeered loudly.
After we reboarded, the
plane had to be de-iced again, stretching this interminable delay. Had he only
complied for just a bit we would have made Miami. We took it in stride as Miami
was our final flight destination, and giggled at the growing anger of the crowd.
Thanks for reading and
may your uh-ohs be laughed off as easily as ours.
Love Janet and greg
© 2022 by Gregory Dunaj
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