LET ME SLEEP

GIVE ME A YUM-YUM FIRST
Greg walked away from his computer and Raisin wrote this entry.

When are you leaving again?

Let’s make this perfectly f-king clear, I don’t give a poop if my humans are home or away. They are like that guy who wears a hat to bed … his wife doesn’t know if he’s coming or going.

They are always going somewhere and all I know is that I’m always being left behind. They want to see the f-king world. F-k them! Am I wrong? I mean aren’t I part of their f-king family? Nope I’m an afterthought and an inconvenience.

Don’t worry about me though, I make the best of it. At least I have a good time when they are gone and I don’t have to go very far. Used to be they’d dump my butt on a family member or (shudder) a f-king kennel, but now I sleep next door with the f-king Brady Bunch. They are dog lovers not like my humans Janet and Greg. The Brady’s got three kids and four dogs. Two of the dogs are big and normal and two are the weirdest looking dogs I’ve ever seen and they squeak a lot. I’ve heard of yappers, but squeakers? I think their breed is called a guinea pig? Who the f-k cares right? At least the Brady’s stay home a lot and the kids love to play with me.

I am the Grand Poobah of
Queenly f-king dogs

Now when I stay with the Brady’s, yum-yums are as plentiful as rain in the Amazon Forest and I never have to do some f-king trick like f-king sit, or f-king give a “high-five” to get one. And, the best f-king part is when the big guy dribbles out a bit of his yum-yum I’m quick to snatch it up. I like to think I’m helping him lose weight, but that would be like throwing a f-king deck chair off the sinking Titanic…the fat f-k.

I call the other dog Dumb-Dumb because when they got him, he was just a pup and the same size as me and I’d boss him around, because well I’m the f-king Grand Poobah of Queenly f-king dogs. Dumb-dumb is now 5 times my size, but he’s too f-king dense to realize it and I still get to boss him around. This comes in real f-king handy when he’s sitting on my favorite part of the couch and I want to claim it. He runs away and cowers in the corner.

Yeah, my humans Janet and Greg are all f-king lovey-dovey when they return from one of their trips and say they miss me and all that bulls-t. F-king posers, I know as soon as they come home, they’re already planning to go on the next trip. Just let me sleep, but give a yum-yum first.

© 2022 by Gregory Dunaj