DOING LAPS

Okay, summer is here and sadly the pool invites to your favorite adorable moochers so far have been light. Just want to point out that if you are interested in having this charismatic swim team grace you with a visit to your pool, then you MUST extend the invitation. Now your presence is not necessary when we visit but you must make arrangements for our entry beforehand. If pool passes or necessary keys or entry instructions are not left for us, you will miss out on the opportunity for Team VFH to visit.

Synchronizing your wishes to be so honored by our lithe bodies plying your cool waters on a hot day, we will happily document our presence and post on this blog. Of course If you wish to remain anonymous we will respect and just send you a picture of our lissome bodies relaxing at your pool via email. Now, if you plan on ALSO being there at your pool we WILL pose for pictures with you, but the limit is two (2) separate pictures.

We will do this all for you for free. We promise to provide our own towels, but expect leisure flotation devices to be available.

SIZE MATTERS

Now unfortunately in the past some invites were a bit sketchy. We once had to contend with a kiddie wading pool and these certain devious people, who will remain nameless here, ALSO had their kiddie in the pool! How unfair is that? We honor them with our presence and when we did a cannonball we displaced ALL the water in the pool and it took a while to fill it back up. So to make sure our valuable time is not wasted we must insist all future pool invites must include a photograph and we will get back to you as soon as possible.

SLIDING SCALE

Future kiddie pool invites are not to be automatically excluded though. There is a sliding scale of accoutrement available to you lucky hosts. Here is a small list:

POOL TYPE                                     EXTRA INCENTIVES REQUIRED

Kiddie:                                Fill the pool with beer/tequila. Steaks on the grill 

Standard Amoeba:            A six pack, or margaritas, sandwiches will be okay

Olympic sized:                  A couple of tepid PBRs and/or a warm bottle of water, chips

Working Hot Tub:             We’ll bring the wine

So, summer’s here. If you want the Mooch Mariners to swim at your pool, you’d better send that invitation.

Hope your summer is going swimmingly. Thanks for reading....Remember to send those pool pictures to: greg.dunaj@yahoo.com