THE MARCO ISLAND MOUNTAINEERS
(sung to the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies)
Come and listen to my story about a woman and a
man
A couple of old coots who had this wacky plan
About having a party and not caring if they’re
fools
And wouldn’t you know it they all jumped in the
pool
Wedding that is, Janet
and Greg’s
Well the first thing you know ol Greg’s a
married man
Said all the right words on that hot hot sand
Janet said there’s no place she’d rather be
Than celebrating near the Gulf of Mexi-key
Marco, that is. Swimming pools, sorority
sisters
The Marco Island Hillbillies
WHERE ARE WE?
At one
point during the weekend revelry celebrating my marriage to Janet, my brother,
who is a ski bum living in the hills of Colorado, looked out onto this oasis of
Marco Island and the soft colors of the gathering night sky and murmured that ‘we
don’t belong here’. He had a point, we are from the urban chaos of Harrison, NJ
where the only thing called “Oasis” is a darkened gin mill on the avenue.
But, did
that stop us from having a good time? Please….
Take
these Harrison Hillbillies, pair them up with a mess of Saucy Alpha Omicron Pi Sorority
sisters from Janet’s alma mater, Slippery Rock, and we partied long and well every
night for that long glorious weekend and when it was over, Marco Island seemed
relieved we all went home.
LOVE BOAT CRUISE DIRECTOR
Just one quick
explanatory note about this beautiful barrier island.… All this beauty on Marco
Island comes with a steep price. Case in point; at the local Dollar Tree store…
where everywhere else in these United States things cost just a dollar… on
Marco Island everything costs $1.50…and they also charge admission to enter the
store. Heck, even the dive bars are
expensive. We know this because our first port of call during our weekend
revelry was a high-end dive bar called Old Marco Pub.
You see,
Janet not only planned the wedding; finding the caterer, the entertainment and
that cake person; but also came up with activities for all of our guests
through the entire weekend. She often laments she hates being a “cruise
director”, but I feel she revels in the details. THAT IS WHY she is the captain
of this love boat.
We arrived
that Thursday and the first “event” was a get together with many of our friends
who traveled in for the wedding. We met at The Old Marco Pub, a local gin mill
that evening.
CLASSY DIVE BAR
You would
be wrong to judge a book by its cover, but The Old Marco Pub kind of looks like
a dive bar from the outside. We had been there before though and thought enough
of the place to return. The inside décor has a somewhat tired music motif with
album covers and backstage passes adorning the walls and there is a stage, but
as this was the off-season and a Thursday night, there were no live acts and
only MTV type music videos on the monitors above the bar, but the place is
clean, boasting a full bar and nice beer list with a number of local craft
beers and a great menu, featuring lots of seafood. It’s a bit expensive, but
the food quality is excellent and our little crowd had a good time there.
SEE YOUR WAY TO KEEWAYDIN
Illustrious
readers of this invaluable blog know that of all the toys a “friend” could
possess, having a boat gets them up up up on our “A” list. Along with a pool
and a well-stocked refrigerator having a boat to ply the waters around Marco is
a sure-fire way to get a thumbs up from Team VFH AND it just so happens that our hosts for the wedding reception
took the Sorority girls and a number of guests on a mid-day excursion on their
pontoon boat to Keewaydin Island, a long barrier island off the Naples Florida
coast. Our hosts own some property on this largely empty island and are
planning to build houses on it. We had a canopy and chairs food and drink as we
splashed about in placid waters of the gulf for a few hours before heading back
to their house for a pre-wedding party!
 |
| Aerial view of Keewaydin Island |
On the
way back to Marco we picked up some wedding crashers who leaped and played in
the wake of our pontoon boat. I could get used to this. Here’s a video from
that:
Though
there are several private lots on the roughly seven miles of Keewaydin, it is very
rural. Years ago, plans to build a bridge and open the island to major development
were successfully fought by the locals and Keewaydin remains a pristine oasis.
The only way to get to the island is by boat. There is a water taxi and there
are food and ice cream boats that come by, but we had our “A” list friends
taking care of us.
A PARTY A BREAKFAST AND A WEDDING
Later
that Friday evening our hosts for the wedding reception also threw us a catered
pre-wedding party at their house. That was extremely generous, but they fluffed
off our thanks by saying they already had the party tent set up on their lawn and
wanted to get full use of it. Our benefactors may have to be afforded double-elite
status in the world of Team VFH.
Saturday
was the day of the wedding and thankfully Janet scheduled down time for
everyone. We had a leisurely breakfast at Doreen’s cup of Joe on North Collier
Avenue near our condo. The place offers great food with expansive portions at
reasonable prices. Then we spent some time on the beach before Janet left to
prepare herself for the wedding.
IN JANET LEE WE TRUST
Like
everything else this wedding weekend, the wedding and reception went off
flawlessly. I don’t know why I was a nervous wreck though; Janet had
meticulously planned everything. She got the caterer, instructed the baker on
the type of wedding cake she wanted and she lined up the entertainment for the
reception. She stitched together all the threads necessary for the wedding
ceremony including the beach permit and the wedding ceremony company and the
photographer. She arranged a condo for my children and even gave them
instructions on how to make their way from the airport in Ft. Myers to Marco. She
offered advice to other guests how to look for their accommodations. I did
write our vows, but only with major input from her and together we cobbled a
song list for the ceremony at the beach. Apart from that I just had to write
checks. I fretted over the logistics worried something would go wrong, but
there was no need; Janet had taken care of everything. I just had to make sure
I said all the right words at the proper time.
MARCO POLO MARCO ISLAND STYLE with MARCO
Our Marco
Island friends opened their home to us and hosted our wedding reception. Their poolside
patio was our dance floor and the outdoor bar was the gathering place for the
wallflowers. The catering was mostly indoors, but we had servers with an array
of “heavy Hors D’oeuvres” outside. The big-ass wedding cake was baked to look
like a bucket of sand adorned with starfish and shells and it tasted like key
lime pie!
Our cake
is featured on their website!
Entertainment
was provided by Marco Kircher who sang along to a karaoke machine and had us dancing
all night, although we would not let him sing our chosen wedding song, Frank
Sinatra’s “Love Is Here To Stay”.
By the
end of the party the Harrison / Alpha Omicron Pi connection was churning along pretty
well, but then suddenly my brother jumped into the pool. Hilarity ensued and fairly
quickly nearly everyone, adults and children, were going in for a dunk. It was
frivolous and wonderful and our hosts dragged out towels and jumped in
themselves! I’m not sure if it was a serious question but the next day Janet
wondered why her wedding dress smelled like chlorine.
NFL SUNDAY
My lovely
wife did not stop with the wedding. Janet even planned events for the next two
days. On Sunday she invited all those who did not travel home to meet at the Sunset
Grille, a casual sports bar with a fabulous view of the Gulf, to cheer on their
favorite NFL team while wearing the team’s colors. Owned by transplanted Philadelphians
the Sunset Grille is right on the beach and had their largest screen reserved
for the hometown favorite Eagles. Though Philadelphia lost that game to the
Tampa Bay Buccaneers and a 35-year-old journeyman quarterback, I saw none of
the faithful taking advantage of the Grille’s pool or the ramp that leads to
the beach. Both are available to patrons. Parking is limited though and needs
to be validated. Sunset Grille offers great food and a decent beer list all at
typically Marco Island prices.
CAP’N BUBBY
I have
never really gone fishing, but had always harbored an interest in the sport.
Years ago, when I read Thomas McGuane’s “Ninety-two In The Shade”, about Key
West fishermen, I was fascinated with plying these waters and casting about for
bonefish and the like. As we planned to
remain in Florida until Tuesday, Janet arranged that Monday for a half day with
Captain Bubby Hail of Florida’s Finest Fishing. There’s a reason why people get
married; Janet did this without even asking me about it, she just knew I would
have enjoyed this day. Sigh….
We opted
for intercoastal fishing rather than a deep-sea excursion and we had our bait
in the water 15 minutes after we left the pier on the Isle of Capri, a short
drive off Marco Island. This was good because we were trying to beat the tide
that was going out at this prime location. We had two seasoned fishermen on the
trip but a couple of raw novices on our trip, including myself. Captain Hail
was patient though and showed us how to cast and reel in our catches. When the
tides went out, we went to other fishing locations well-known to the Captain, but they were all relatively close to home. It was
fascinating. I caught a couple of redfish, one was a keeper and later a meal
and we all caught a lot of snappers also cooked later, a number of snook and a jewfish.
At one point a dolphin was dogging us and this magnificent creature followed us
into the shallows and eyed us curiously hoping to steal away our fish. I had never
experienced wildlife as intimate as this, although Captain Hail cursed the
dolphin saying he was a freeloader. Nonetheless I was fascinated and overjoyed.
If ever I travel to Marco Island I will certainly book another fishing excursion
with Bubby Hail and his Florida’s Finest Fishing.
GOOD EATING
Admittedly, for this novice the best part of fishing this way is the hands-off approach. Captain Hail did
all the work, including casting a net for more bait fish and later gutting and
cleaning our catch for a later meal. Later that day we took our bounty to Cocomo’s
Grill, a local bar/restaurant on Collier that readily offers to cook up your
catch. There are several styles of preparation available and we chose the local
way, pan seared with key lime beurre blanc sauce, and split between francaise and jalapeno encrusted. Our
seemingly meager catch proved to nearly be too much food! It was a delightful end
to a whirlwind romantic weekend.
Well now
it’s time to say good-bye to Greg and his wife
This was
a great start on a new and happy life
You’re all
invited back soon to this locality
To have a
heapin' helpin' of our hospitality
Hillbilly
that is. Set a spell, Take your shoes off.
Y’all
come back now y’hear?
Thanks for reading.
Sorry It’s been awhile since my last posting, but my computer died (hard drive) and it’s taken some time to recover my notes, etc. Some pictures were lost though and so I urge you all to keep things twice. If you don’t have it in two places you don’t have it.
Love
Greg and Janet
(In case you don't know the show...)
(In case you don't know the show...)
