A BORING VACATION?

Marco Island

Team VFH tries to get the most out of spending the least and so our excursions are usually wroth with activities and exploring adventures with little “down” time. Relaxing on a vacation is a foreign concept as we run hither, thither, and yon.  Our reasoning is that we’ve spent so much money we’d BETTER enjoy the trip and see EVERYTHING! Gosh, after our vacations another vacation is needed for us to recover. With this current thinking about currency and travel it has been a good long while that our main objective was to simply relax on a vacation, but this was our very aim for our recent trip to Marco Island in southwest Florida. We were traveling there with Janet’s expansive family, including her new grandchild, so our antics would have to be somewhat curtailed. We would not be able to just flit off on a whim. Janet warned me that it could be boring, but looking back on our week is was a wonderful time.  Perhaps this is a new concept in travel for us? Imagine…relaxing while on vacation.

Marco Island Beach

PATRICK TV

Courtesy of Janet’s cousin the family was arrayed throughout several apartments of the Charter Club of Marco Beach time share with our balconies overlooking the Gulf of Mexico. The water was warm and placid the beach hard packed powdery white sand with sea shells. We spent much of our days at the beach, either lounging on the chaises we rented for the week from the club or lolling about in the water just chatting with other family members.

Starfish and sand dollars could be found in the water and shelling was a week-long activity for us. Free activities at the Charter Club also included ocean kayaks and paddleboards and Hobie Cats. We also went Parasailing, rented a Waverunner for an hour and went on the Calusa Spirit Eco Tour through the 10,000 islands of the Everglades, these last three, courtesy of the Marco Island Watersports.

Sunset from the porch

By far though our favorite pastime throughout the week was watching the young Patrick, Janet’s five month old grandson; frolic in the water or sleep on one of the rented chaise lounges or flounce about in the pool. Some people like to toss a ball or a Frisbee on the beach, but we took turns holding onto the cooing Patrick. (Of course, when Patrick TV switched to the Creature Feature of the day, he was foisted upon his Mom.)

THE CHARTER CLUB MARCO ISLAND

MARCO ISLAND WATER SPORTS 

 

Turtle nest on Marco Island

TURTLE NESTS

Sea turtles drag themselves onto land to lay their eggs. Nightly volunteers walk the beach looking for signs of these large lumbering, endangered creatures and their nests are cordoned off by police tape so they would remain undisturbed. After 9 pm the curtains in the apartments are to be drawn tight so no light would be emitted which would lure the turtle hatchlings away from the sea. Evidently hatchlings are attracted by the heavenly lights reflected off the water and any other artificial light will lead them astray and sadly to their demise. We got a phone call one night telling us to close our curtains and one time when we were out for dinner someone from the Charter Club entered our apartment to draw the blinds. We were embarrassed that we had not done our civic duty! No one wants to hornswoggle a baby turtle.

PROTECTION OF SEA TURTLES IN FLORIDA

CRITTERS GALORE

Sadly the sectioned off nest sites were the only visible signs of the sea turtles. We did not see any turtles swimming in the waters off shore, like we did last year in Hawaii, although, we had the great fortune to see a manatee passing by one morning, looking like a massive swimming potato. Dolphins were a regular sighting. One afternoon while out on paddleboards, one dolphin breached a few times within just a yard or two of us.

Little silvery fish darted about in the surf line to poke at the sand kicked up by our thrashing and curious schools of larger fish with black stripes on their back circled us at times. If we remained still enough we could “pet” their tails as they slowly swirled around us. The water was warm and gentle. On one occasion I picked up a shell for collecting and discovered it was still occupied by the original tenant. I had already taken the little fellow up to the room when his foot nudged my hand looking to make a speedy escape. I marched him back down to the gulf where incredibly there was another of his kind right there and they began to fornicate.

She's a Manatee!

CONCH FRITTERS AND GROUPER!

We ate a lot of seafood while in Florida although we did gravitate to less fancier restaurants. Nonetheless the food was fresh and good wherever our palate alighted.

I insisted on getting conch fritters each time we went out although I was hoping for a ceviche of the delicacy, but never found it on the menu. We had a full kitchen in our apartments, but we never used the facilities except to keep our beer and wine cold.

Here’s a quick list of some places we ate during our week.

CAPRI FISH HOUSE

I was overdressed in my Aloha shirt as we sat at the water’s edge at this very casual restaurant a few miles off Marco Island proper. The fritters were so so and expensive, but the Grouper Sandwich was huge and was excellent. Ja net says her fried oysters were “yummy.” Drinks, like Margaritas were reasonably priced. They made a very good seafood chowder.

http://www.caprifishhouse.com/

 

Goodland FLA awaits

LITTLE BAR RESTAURANT

Locals in the small community of Goodland, population 267 +/- tool around in golf carts and the Little Bar Restaurant was hopping. There was a band playing inside and hundreds of nutcrackers staring down from the walls approved of our presence. This popular local joint served better fritters and Grouper Balls for appetizers. Janet and I both had blackened Grouper drizzled with a mango curry sauce.  http://www.littlebarrestaurant.com/

THE SNOOK INN

A very popular Marco Island bar and restaurant, The Snook Inn is also located at the water’s edge, although the seating was all out in the open. The other two had screened in seating. A busy but convivial setting, the wait staff handled our large group readily without getting too many of our drink orders wrong. The menu was massive and varied. There was a seafood buffet but we all ordered. Great fritters and spicy blackened Caribbean style Grouper for me. Afterwards we posed for pictures along the dock.

http://www.snookinn.com/

MARCO ISLAND SUNSETS

It is great sport to gather on the beach to watch sunsets in Southwest Florida. Marco Island, our home for this week is on the Gulf of Mexico and the light here is fantastic. Open air brilliant views of the vast sky and horizon. The clouds change colors with the waning sun and people come down to the white sand beach to see pinks and blues and yellows dapple on the water and glow in the clouds and stand awestruck by the majestic display.

Each evening at sunset we stop everything to stand in reverence.

The summer solstice sunset 2015

MOLOKINI AND NO BIKINI

LITTLE BEACH

Our Wednesday in Maui was a planned beach day. Maui has especially lovely beaches, mostly along the western coastline from D.T. Fleming Park north of Lahaina all the way down to Big Beach at Makena Beach State Park with a few in the north mostly centered in the valley between Kahului and Paia. In the town of Hana, on the extreme eastern edge of Maui, there are also a couple of beaches; a red sand beach and a black sand beach at Wai’anapanapa State Park. Mostly the northern edge of the island is rockier with cliffs although there are coves where

Wai’anapanapa State Park Hana

you can swim if interested but they have none of the facilities found in the beach parks. All the beach parks no matter how small have bathrooms and outdoor showers. South of Lahaina for lengthy stretches along Route 30 there are no official “beach parks” but we noticed lots of people parked and surfing and camping. Basically if you find a place that strikes your fancy you can swim. Hawaiian law says no one can own the surf and so even if you have private property people can have access to your beach. “Beach access” signs are everywhere, sometimes next to some very exclusive looking property.

And, the best part is they are all free, no New Jersey type beach tags necessary along any of

Big Beach

the 30 official miles of Maui beaches.

We decided to go to Little Beach this day. Clothing optional bathing is tolerated here and the beach is just over a little hill from Big Beach. Park at Makena Beach State Park and when you get to Big Beach make a right or follow people towards the collapsed cinder cone. Unlike Big Beach there are no bathroom facilities or lifeguards at Little Beach, just some gnarled trees and sadly some people who come to Little Beach to ogle…a bit too long. There were all kinds of people at the beach that day, from young to old wrinkly folks who don’t care what they look like

Little Beach with Molokini

anymore…ahem… me… But, the water was clear; we could see turtles in the water; and refreshing. The waves were strong though, you have to be a careful for sometimes the surf broke very close to shore. You can be several feet in the air on a wave and then pounded into 3 inches of water. Nearby Big Beach bears the dubious nickname of “Breakneck Beach” for this very reason and afterwards we learned that someone just last week cracked a vertebra in the capricious waters. So if you decide to go to either Big or Little Beach please be sure you are very aware of your surroundings.

We survived the day though. After making sure our sun screen was applied appropriately we

Molokini

lounged in the warm sun and cooled off in the beautiful water when necessary. From Little Beach there are great views of Molokini, a half-submerged crater 3 miles offshore and great for snorkeling, and Kahoolawe, nicknamed the Target Island. Uninhabited because of a lack of fresh water Kahoolawe was used by the military for target practice from WWII until it was stopped in 1990.

To avoid the sun some people draped towels or blankets over the gnarled trees at Little Beach to form shady areas; others brought umbrellas. It was very low key, but it was a Wednesday. Sunday afternoon and evening is very different. The beach gets crowded with people and a “drum circle” forms and fire dancers contort along with the rhythm. Not sure why they do it, but I’m sure it has something to do with Aloha Spirit. If you decide to go, make sure you bring a flashlight because the hike over the hill is rough and after sunset it’ll be more treacherous. Perhaps you’ll run into Steve Tyler, that guy from Aerosmith.

He’s been known to make the trek to Little Beach… Myself, I’m holding out for Liv. Oops …sorry Janet.
LITTLE BEACH

GO….

Mahalo for reading!

Here's a video of the drum circle...

The Etiquette of Mooching

One may decide to live without, but when surrounded by amenities already paid for by friends, like pools or boats or vacation homes, one should figure out how to tap into this pipeline of luxurious afternoons. After all, why allow these resources to lay fallow? Whether you are a tightwad or are truly strapped for cash, friends with such toys are a priceless commodity and should not be ignored. Indeed, these cherished friends should be cultivated and nurtured.

Don’t be shy in pursuing your mooching goals.  Please remember that these amenities are often status symbols for the owners and they would like nothing better than to shove their wealth and good fortune in your face. This obviously makes the mooching process easier and will work in your favor. Let them have their fun as they flaunt their avarice and toys. Smile warmly, ooo and aaa appropriately, gush aglow at their kindness and charm them into thinking they are without a doubt your most favorite host…and then ask where they keep their Belvidere vodka.  

Yes, mooching requires a bit of humility and a lot of charming smiles and at times a zipped lip. Ignore the wide distance between their ability to spend and your unwillingness to match it and ask them if they need another beer from their poolside wet bar. But, arrogance does not work for long for either the moocher or the moochee. Servitude for an extended period wears thin and abrades.  Never let your most gracious host debase or insult you; never tell them they are extremely fortunate for your company, without a sly smile! Yes, both the moochee and the moocher need to have a mutual feeling of wellbeing. You gain from their gain and they gain from your gain.

So, this dance, of idle afternoons and riotous parties, of twirling and spinning and mooching and scheming sounds calculated doesn’t it….  What do you think? Without proper planning and effort on your part, the opportunity will pass onto someone else… someone less worthy? So, what can you do as charter member of Vacations From Home, where no opportunity to mooch is overlooked, to cull these precious invitations and cheap thrills.

First off, and most importantly, be interesting. Always be a viable option for your “friends”.  Try to be accomplished at something, hopefully noteworthy. If you invent something like Velcro or cure cancer, think of all the invitations you’ll receive. Try to be charming and witty, quick with the pithy comment and the compliment and you will surely ingratiate yourself into their sphere of invites. They will want you around.  

Second, be handsome or beautiful. Everyone wants to be seen with arm candy. This should be you! If you’re not good looking, you’re kinda outta luck. Of course you might be able to make up for that ugly mug with some charm, but please, don’t expect much. If you’re fair to middling in the looks department you must be height/weight proportionate. No one wants to see you pull a chair up to the buffet table.

Thirdly, make investments in your friends. Hedge your invitations by offering to pick up a bar or meal tab once in a while.  Sadly, we can’t be THAT cheap. Bring a six-pack to the pool party and not Meister Brau. Wolfschmidt vodka is never an option. Even though you’re in the game to get invites you’ll better your chances if you’re not perceived simply as a taker or, ahem, a mooch. Parting with some of your money will mask your intent somewhat, and besides your generosity may spur your hosts to “one up” you and lavish you with even more “things”.

A word of caution is needed here. Sometimes getting that invite requires a waiting game. Don’t be anxious and never pester or beg. Oh, you’ll liable to get that invite if you do beg, but that would probably be the last one. It’s that killing the goose and the golden egg bit. You want to preserve the pool/beach/lakefront home – open refrigerator – open bar – friendship that you’ve labored over, tended lovingly and charmed. There should be no worry if you have laid the right foundation. If, gasp, the invite does not come, you just have to suck it up and maybe spend the day finally sweeping your kitchen floor?  Even in defeat though there is opportunity and if it was a glaring oversight by your potential hosts and they offer you an apology, graciously accept it with no hint of bitterness. 

Remember to cast a wide net for mooching. Opportunities abound and if you don’t get that boat ride, think pool, or beach.  The mountains work in a pinch. Be flexible, work the phones and get your butt to the gym.

So, there you have it! Sounds simple? Summer is starting soon, so get out there and get that invite!